Not a single suicidal thought has crossed my mind since, well today. that shit’s old i guess. i don’t even know why i am thinking about it. I t’s not like i have a bad life, in fact it is just fine and i have all i need. But it just doesn’t seem complete. i am tired of waking up every day and wasting my energy on things i don’t like or give a shit about. i wish i could just go to sleep and never, ever wake up because living has actually became boring to me. I can’t even stand the one closest to me anymore. Maybe because they don’t notice that i’am losing my mind and it’s fucking killing me inside. However i can’t make them care or listen, or notice. It wouldn’t be fear of me, because i’ve already done so many bad things. yeah, It might be the past and my old version of me which hunts me daily. But what it’s done, it’s done and can’t be fixed so i just need to let it go, for good. I don’t even feel sad because of that, i actually don’t feel anything. It’s like there wouldn’t be a spark of life in me at all. That’s what scares me the most. i just hope that phase will pass, because i don’t know what i am capable to do. PS: i am sorry for wasting your time and please don’t bother with this poste.